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WHO: MintyMudi (twitter), MudiCommissions (twitter), Mixeddisaster (FA, relatively inactive)

WHERE: Twitter DMs, @MintyMudi

WHAT: An adopt purchase, turned into a traditional badge trade.

August 9, 2016 – Present Day

PROOF: Here's an Imgur album, but I will link appropriate images accordingly: http://imgur.com/a/JN1yv

EXPLAIN: On August 9th, 2016, I posted several characters for sale, and MintyMudi expressed interest in one of them. I was asking $20, and they offered $15 and a small doodle, which I accepted. They sent me the $15 promptly. http://i.imgur.com/q7shtqO.png http://i.imgur.com/QAwRZvM.png

ETA: Minty has come to me with an apology and acknowledged their behavior following my previous communication with them. This shows a willingness to improve and admit fault, and I'm pleased that they did so. http://imgur.com/nzOJQvu

September rolls around, and I remembered that they owed me a doodle, so on the 3rd I inquired about the status of that. They told me they’d been busy working, and they’d get to it that week. They offered to do a traditional badge, and having liked the style of the badges they were doing, that interested me. However I didn’t feel like it would be a fair exchange for just $5 worth so I offered to do a badge for them as well and we could turn it into a full blown badge trade. They agreed, and we chatted briefly about characters (I omitted this from the screenshots, it’s irrelevant info), and I completed my half very shortly afterwards. Usually, I send off my badges right away, but having experienced a trade gone awry earlier that summer, I decided to hold on to it until they had completed their half. http://i.imgur.com/35KjtAF.png

September 19th arrives, and they ask me the name of my character. I told them, and they replied that they would do it on their day off the next day (would have been Sept 21). I missed the reply until the next day, the 22nd, and told them that there was no rush. I assumed they had been busy since they didn’t have it done by then. http://i.imgur.com/YK6yGi0.png

October 26th rolls around, and they came to me asking if they could make the badge Christmas themed, to provide examples for MFF badges. I’m not really one for holiday themed things, so I declined and said I’d prefer a neutral theme. They then asked if they could put a snowflake background on it, so I told them again that I did not want that kind of theme. This kind of rubbed me the wrong way, so if my replies look a little short then that’s why. They finished the badge that day, and showed me pictures of it. http://i.imgur.com/YK6yGi0.png http://i.imgur.com/NFUgzSL.png

It slipped my mind for a little while, but mid-November I realized that they hadn’t asked me for my shipping address. I realized that the timing would be pretty poor due to Thanksgiving, then MFF (which I knew they were attending based on their previous inquiries), and then Christmas, so I waited until after all that passed to ask about it. I asked if they needed my shipping address, on January 13th. They told me that they were in the process of moving, but they would try to send it out beforehand. After giving them my address, I told them I would ship mine out after I received their half of the trade. http://i.imgur.com/ndgzQxP.png

So, February 1st rolls around and I ask them again, if they’d had the chance to mail it. At this point I was getting pretty frustrated, because it doesn’t take much to put a stamp on an envelope and put it in the mailbox. http://i.imgur.com/zUnctqw.png

A week passes, and on Feb 8th they messaged me to let me know that they would be mailing my badge out the next week. I was pleased that they had taken the initiative to update me, as it usually was me asking for progress. http://i.imgur.com/eiGOmHr.png

After the next week passes, I ask on Feb 14th if they had the chance to ship the badge out or not. I let them know at this time that I am frustrated with the transaction, and give them the option of just cancelling the trade since I had refrained from sending out my half until I got theirs. They told me that they had shipped it out that morning, which immediately sent up a red flag. It was awfully convenient that they had put it in the mailbox the day that I asked about it. I decided to give them the benefit of a doubt, though privately I was planning on checking out what the timestamp on the envelope said when it arrived. I didn’t intend on doing anything about it, just mostly to confirm my suspicions. http://i.imgur.com/eiGOmHr.png http://i.imgur.com/2TIbX01.png

Today, 2ish days later, Feb 17th in my time zone but not quite 3 whole days later, they DM’d me again letting me know that the mailman apparently hadn’t picked up the mail. For 2 days. Now obviously I don’t have any proof of them being dishonest, but I had a bad feeling about it in the first place, so this was just the final straw. I told them that it felt suspicious, and I was very frustrated. At this point I tell them that I’ll be writing up a beware, and that I don’t wish to speak to them unless it’s confirmation of shipping the badge. http://i.imgur.com/2TIbX01.png http://i.imgur.com/lMk2rCP.png

As the screenshots show, they then proceed to tell me that I’ve been rude and hurtful, along with some comments that are very guilt trip-y. Included in my screenshots are some subtweets about the whole situation. http://i.imgur.com/lMk2rCP.png http://i.imgur.com/yv3dZkP.png

They don’t admit to anything and either situation is equally as likely imo, but regardless of whether they put the badge in their mailbox or not, it’s still been since August of last year. So I feel like this beware is justified. I get that “real life” happens, but it takes so little time to send an envelope in the mail that it quickly becomes an invalid excuse. I would probably have been more patient if it had been something that required boxing up or packaging, but this is such a simple thing that I just ran out of patience. As soon as I receive my badge, I will be shipping out theirs. But at this point I’m not sure when that will be.

So that being said, be careful when dealing with MintyMudi. They are unreliable, unprofessional, and I do not recommend it.

As soon as I have received the badge, I will update this post and ship out my half.

UPDATE: I have received the badge on the mail. regardless of the reasoning behind it not being shipped when they said they would ship it, I consider the transaction resolved. However, there are issues with cutting of the lamination that is fairly sloppy that I pointed out to them. ( http://imgur.com/lgiVQCT, http://imgur.com/WACmX6f, http://imgur.com/suBW6gz, http://imgur.com/zzHp25K, http://imgur.com/OKXFwlW )If this were a commission, I would request it be redone and fixed, but since it's just a trade I don't want to bother with it. They also have yet to own up to their behavior and outbursts, and I don't think they will. So resolved, yes. But still be wary of working with this individual. I would not recommend it until they improve their attitude and work ethic.

Minty has come to me with an apology and acknowledged their behavior following my previous communication with them. This shows a willingness to improve and admit fault, and I'm pleased that they did so. http://imgur.com/nzOJQvu

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Feb. 18th, 2017 04:25 am (UTC)
"I have a lot of stuff going on right now" wouldn't be an issue if they'd shipped it out earlier, considering they had it finished, what, late October? November? If they'd asked for your address as soon as they finished and shipped it out, they'd have one less thing on their plate now.

As someone else said though, them dragging their feet so much on delivering their half isn't really what turns me off them the most, it's the complete turn around in their attitude and guilt tripping that made me :| Really pointed use of language, and a lot of it is making me so angry because, while I doubt it's intentional, it's so damn conniving and manipulative.

"I'm honestly kind of hurt since you're an artist I look up to" - just randomly bestowing some kind of responsibility of conduct onto you to always be gentle and understanding because of the pedestal they put you on themselves?
"Thank you so much for wanting to make my life worse"
"I have been nothing but kind to you [...] you've been rude and hostile to me" once again pushing some kind of onus of care onto you, like, c'mon, twenty might be young but they're still an adult, you should not be expected to baby them.
"I'm a human being dealing with too many problems" you're not the only human being in this transaction, friend, just because you admire someone doesn't make them less human and less deserving of having emotional responses like STRESS and ANNOYANCE and DISAPPOINTMENT. They're expectation that you remain totally and completely empathetic toward them and hold their hand and treat them nicely, while they're allowed to get upset about things is unreasonable and hypocritical. They're not only downplaying their own responsibility in this falling apart but apparently projecting a completely ridiculous expectation of behaviour onto you, using phrases like "thought you understand" and "I thought out of all people, you would understand". They're making bargains ("at least I FINISHED your badge", "I actually sent it out this morning?" < actually that sentence jumped out at me as a red flag, because they open with a "well actually" excuse, rather than any kind of apology or acknowledgement of your wait) to try to gain a moral foothold in the situation, they're being publicly self-depreciation and self-victimising and highlighting their own emotional suffering, making minor acknowledgements of their own fault ("But it's my fault. I never ship anything out when I promise to and I understand it makes people frustrated") allowing them to appear more balanced and reasonable and like they're not having a completely overblown emotional response.

There's a lot of other stuff in those DMs and subtweets that could be unpacked but I don't want to run on too long. I just wanted to highlight some of they key phrases and emotional manipulation going on because they bare stressing just how awful this person is acting. It goes beyond just guilt tripping and subverting responsibility. Again, I doubt they're some kind of evil mastermind doing all this on purpose and genuinely believe they're just completely removing a brain-mouth filter they desperately need to keep a handle on in the future, but man...

I just have dated someone who acted in the exact same way and used the exact same language and seeing it again just made me see fucking red, so sorry for all this! But I felt it was kind of important to unpack exactly what was going on with her language that made this so offensive.


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