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Not yet a beware, but might become one.

I'll try to make this brief, because I'm very irritated right now and mostly want to get an outside perspective on this before I name the person in question or make this a proper beware.

I agreed on a trade with an artist in July. I had an 18" premade plush doll worth approximately $120 at the time I made it, but had been hanging around in my studio for a while and I didn't feel that it properly represented the quality of my work any longer so opened it up for offers or potential trades rather than attempting to sell it outright any longer.

A person offered me a trade, I thought their art was cute, and they agreed to pay me $10 and trade me 4 custom bookmarks for it (that they usually charge $15/each for). Again, not what the plush was really "worth", but I was happy to do a trade and they seemed nice & I wasn't/still would not be bitter about it if this had worked out. They sent the $10 promptly, and as we were both going to be attending Anthrocon, we agreed that I would bring it with me so they could pick it up there. They said they probably wouldn't be able to get my bookmarks done before the con, which was fine, but that they could probably work on them at the con or shortly afterward. They wound up not stopping by at all, and then asked if I could ship it, which I really didn't want to do because it would cost at least $10 to ship to them, bringing what I was getting for the plush even lower, but okay fine whatever. I agreed to.

Now here is the part where I am pretty sure I screwed up and should have handled more maturely, but after agreeing to ship it I waited. And waited. And waited. And waited more, but didn't tell them I was waiting, mostly because I am not a confrontational person and I didn't want to sound like I was being aggressive or pushy or something. I wanted to at least see some sort of indication that they were working on my half of the trade before mailing it, and a month passed, and then another month passed, and a couple of weeks ago I got a message from them on FB telling me that they were "disturbed" that I told them I would mail the plush and that I haven't, etc, etc. I apologized, legitimately feeling really bad about it, and told them I would mail it the next week (last week now, which I have, so if it hasn't arrived there yet it should be any day, and if this becomes a proper beware I've saved all of my shipping information to prove that and all). During the conversation that they expressed how disturbed they were to me, I inquired about the status of my half of the trade, which I'd still yet to have seen any evidence of. They said they'd mailed them already, but had it returned to sender. I checked the address I gave them, it was correct. I asked them what was on the envelope that was returned to them to indicate the reason it was returned, they said they didn't remember exactly. Okay...

Yesterday they made a really passive aggressive post on Facebook about how sad they are that it has taken so long for my half of the trade to get to them. I told them it was mailed, and asked again about the status of my trade, they said they would post pictures of it today. Now today they made a status update about how they know they owe art to people but they are having really stressful life circumstances and want to focus on uploading their personal art instead of the art they owe... and... I'm beginning to feel like I was ripped off.

I'm anxious because I KNOW I did not handle the situation professionally when I said I would ship their item and didn't, and the mature/responsible thing to do would have been to communicate with them clearly that I didn't feel comfortable shipping their half until I'd gotten an indication from them that my half was being worked on, especially being that the $10 that was supposed to be sent to me as partial compensation for the doll was going to be used on that shipping instead now. So I don't know. I feel a lot of guilt but I'm also beginning to feel anger too.

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( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 20th, 2015 12:06 am (UTC)
You didn't handle it the best, as you said, but the other side seems to be handling it worse. Definitely warrants a beware to me.
Oct. 20th, 2015 01:36 am (UTC)
mmm, well it's true you could have done certain things better, the other person definitely owes you art if they receive the item. Since they said they already did their half and post pictures, I would ask again for those before assuming the worst. Updates about "stressful life events" or no, they said your work is already done, and that they would post pictures. So it's fine to ask about those again if there's still nothing after their own self-imposed deadline.
Oct. 20th, 2015 02:49 am (UTC)
yYs, you should have mentioned you were waiting for a wip or progress. But honestly, I wouldnt ship, or expect anyone to do so, without proof they were actually doing their half.

The mailing on their end sounds more like a lie, as they never told you they shipped it. I wouldnt have shipped out the plush without photos.
Oct. 21st, 2015 12:06 am (UTC)
This, about the shipping of the pictures.. Like, do they upload the art online? If you have no proof that they did the work, clearly they havent posted the pictures online at all either. Seems kinda sketchy to me. And if the art was returned, why didnt she immediately contact you to tell you she was having problems shipping?

Red Flag goes up for me whenever somebody uses the mail as an excuse for why something doesnt get there.. The mail does not mess up as frequently as a lot of people believe, and thus use as an excuse for not getting to its destination.
Oct. 22nd, 2015 07:08 pm (UTC)
This. I've also seen a disturbing increase in people giving bogus tracking numbers, or "oh oops that's for someone else's package let me get back to you with the right one!"

Personally I never believe it's been posted unless they give me a legit tracking number or a photo/scan of the receipt.
Oct. 20th, 2015 03:59 am (UTC)

So you kept the doll... and never received the item you were supposed to trade...? So the problem is they are posting passive aggressive FB posts but at this point neither of you have fulfilled the trade?

Oct. 20th, 2015 05:10 am (UTC)
OP said they did mail their part a few weeks ago; apparently the person they traded with said they haden't gotten it yet yesterday, and would post pics of their half "today" but instead posted about how they are too stressed to do owed art. ... definitely seems a bit premature yet (I think it is still "today" when this was written?" OP hasn't said if their item was tracked and if delivery confirmed?) but I can see why OP is worried.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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