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Help with thrown away commission

Hey guys, I'm really confused as to what to do about this...

About 2 months ago I was commissioned to do a badge for snowfox19. I did the badge, he paid, done deal. He told me to wait and mail his badge because he wanted to commission me for a few other things as well. No problem. He never did commission me for the other things, but questioned where his badge was, though he had never given me a mailing address. He changed his mind, he wanted his badge NOW. At the time I had no money and my friends were over for AC, so I told him after AnthroCon I would gladly mail his badge to him. He said no problem, though was a bit snarky about it ("You said ASAP but okay =P")

Now here's the problem. I had a TON of badges soooo graciously laminated by huskie666 while at the con, and when she gave them back to me I put them in a box in my car so they wouldn't get lost whilst at the con. The day we got back from the con, my friends and I crashed and slept forever. While we were sleeping, my dad cleaned out my car and apparently threw away the badges in the box because they "didn't look like anything important". Several of them were gifts so I didn't care so much, but one of them was snowfox19's commission!

I feel so horrible about this, I've never had anything like this happen to me. I've always been very timely in mailing out commissions and have never had any bad feedback on Furbid or in general as to arrival of commissions etc. I really just hate this, it sounds so unprofessional to say "oh, my dad cleaned out my car and threw away your commission". I'm sorry, I'm only 18 and I still live at home. I can't control what my parents do to my stuff, as immature as it sounds.

I don't have the money to refund him, and in a way I feel I shouldn't have to because I showed him the finished product. I told him it wouldn't be laminated when I mailed it to him, and he said that was fine, and I went out of my way to get it laminated and it gets thrown away. What should I say to him? I was thinking of offering colatteral, another badge, no problem at all. He hasn't been online for me to explain the situation to him...plus duh I know he's going to leave me bad feedback on Furbid.

I just really hate this scenerio, it makes me feel so immature and unprofessional. I hate saying "it wasn't my fault", even though it wasn't....argh.

Help? :(
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Comments

( 38 comments — Leave a comment )
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drake_anaya
Jun. 24th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
If you're willing to make another badge to make up for it, he has no place to be leaving you bad feedback. Particularly after he changed his mind so much!

In the real world, Stuff Gets Lost. even if your dad hadn't thrown the box away, the badge might have gotten lost in the mail.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, here. If he's unable to accept a newly made badge, then... he's just a jerk, sorry. :/
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
I've been trying to talk to him via MSN about this whole thing and it's like he never has 5 minutes to decided whether or not he wants a new badge or what's going on -___-

I have absoloutly no problem making him a new badge and throwing in a few sketches (though I have a feeling he'll want me to draw babyfurs...in which case I'll have to decline n___n) so yeah.

Thanks :)
(no subject) - drake_anaya - Jun. 27th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC) - Expand
kayla_la
Jun. 24th, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC)
Well.. it's not the commissioner's fault, either, that the badge was lost, just keep that in mind. He paid you and hasn't gotten what he's paid for, but before you think I'm attacking you, I think it sounds like you're doing your best to solve the problem, and that's really all you can do.

I recommend simply telling him the truth, and offering an apology (apologies have a way of calming people down). There's a chance he might not believe you, but it won't matter either way. Offer to draw him a new badge and maybe try getting this one laminated free of charge, even though you don't really "owe" him that. I'd think it'd just make you look a bit more professional, since looking professional seems to be at least a little important to you.

Just be polite, calm, and quick to rectify the situation and I think you'll be fine. If he reacts badly to something that was out of your control, even after you've offered to make him a brand new badge, you'll have free reign to report him here for being snarky and impatient.

That's just my opinion, anyway. :) Good luck!
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 02:51 am (UTC)
I contacted him via MSN shortly after posting this and seeing replies as to what to do, and it's like he doesn't have 5 minutes to discuss it, he's always "tired" or "working" or something. I understand that completely, but all I ask for is 5 fricken minutes to decide if he wants a new badge or what and he can't give me a straight answer :/ I have no problem doing a new badge for him or whatever.

Thanks :)
(no subject) - kayla_la - Jun. 27th, 2006 08:03 am (UTC) - Expand
sunhawk
Jun. 24th, 2006 09:55 pm (UTC)
i don't have any helpful advice but i completely feel your pain about parents throwing away things because they thought it was just garbage :// *comfs*
huskie666
Jun. 24th, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC)
wow... i'm sorry but, you should really educate your parents about what you do.
That was a really DUMB move on his part, again, i'm sorry. But if I were ignorant of my kid's business but saw that there was a TON of the same little things in a BOX all TOGETHER, i would at least fuckin ASK what the fuck they were.
That really sucks Dream.. please ream your dad for me, i'd be PISSED.
~~Huskie
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 02:54 am (UTC)
That's why I was so pissed, my parents KNOW I've been doing commissions until I find a good job. My dad is just fucking ignorant -___- He's so anal over cleaning out my car after I go somewhere, which I don't understand because it's not like he ever drives it O___o The only thing he saved was this stupid doodle I did for Shinnie in Denny's, wtf.
gothwings
Jun. 24th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC)
I completely agree with the other people who have posted. If I were in your situation I would start by telling my Dad never to do that again or I'll be very upset yadda yadda. Then I'd consider my options which I see as two things:
1. Apology, explanation and new badge.
2. Apology, explanation and refund.

Even though he messed you around a bit with postage and such, it is important to keep a professional attitude. A good reputation is earned over a long time, but a bad reputation only takes one chance remark. I think posting here for advice was a sensible idea too, you can then rest assured you're seeking the proper advice from others who have been or might be in this situation. I hope it works out for the best for you both.
mix_hyenataur
Jun. 24th, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
Ditto.

If he wants a refund, give him one. He paid for an original, not to be harsh, not for a digital.

Grumpy as you may, you should direct your anger against your dad instead. lol
(no subject) - dreamaria - Jun. 27th, 2006 02:59 am (UTC) - Expand
lemonfruitpie
Jun. 24th, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
;o; oh goz, you have my condolences. @.x That is a real pain.

Did you ask him to pay extra for postage? If not, then I feel that you should apologize, explain to him the situation, and just ask him if he'd print it out for himself.

If he did, then I suggest you print it out somehow, laminate it, and mail it to him instead of redoing the whole badge.

Anyways, good luck with this D:
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:08 am (UTC)
I didn't ask him for any extra postage because it's only 37 cents to mail badges, so really I don't feel the need to charge.

I've been trying to talk to him via MSN about this for several days now, and it's like he doesn't have 5 minutes to tell me what he wants to do. I explained the situation to him shortly after posting this and recieving replies, and it's like he can't give me a straight answer. He's always tired or working or something. It's not like I'm asking for hours of his time, just 5 minutes. I suggested that he just print it out himself because he's told me that he doesn't need it for a con or anything so yeah.

Thanks :)
(no subject) - lemonfruitpie - Jun. 27th, 2006 11:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
bladespark
Jun. 24th, 2006 11:42 pm (UTC)
I've been on both ends of this one before. I had somebody who claimed his family threw something he was making for me away. Later on he proved himself dishonest, so I don't belive him, but when it happened, I was annoyed but willing to accept the excuse. I wasn't happy about it, but he started over and made me the item I'd wanted, so I called it good enough.

Right now I'm in a pickle with several people with deadlines, and I have no studio because I'm in mid move and staying with my boyfriend's parents until we get an apartment, which is taking about three times longer than we thought, and I've had to tell a lot of people that I'm going to miss their deadlines, which I hate. But I've offered all of them something small extra (a pair of ears, usually,) and they've all said they're happy with the situation.

I'd reccomend re-doing the commission. It's a lot of extra effort, and it's frustrating, but they guy has paid for it, and you're responsible for delivering it. On the other hand, however, you're not responsible for your dad being an idiot, that's your dad's fault, so the customer shouldn't be too upset with any delays, so long as you do come through with it. Badges don't take too long to make. Just sit down and get it done as fast as you can, and the whole mess will be over with and out of the way. If you're really worried about him being upset, offer some small extra feature to make up for the delay. That really does tend to make people happy with you, even when things didn't go how they wanted.
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
I've tried telling him several times that I don't mind re-doing it, but he never seems to have time to talk with me about it. He's always tired or working or something...I'm not asking for hours of his time, only 5 minutes, and just a straight answer. I understand being tired or at work, but damn, all I'm asking for is a yes you want it redone, or no you'll print it out. He's told me that he doesn't need it for a con or anything so obviously there's no rush. Hell, I'll even offer a few sketches (though he'll probably want me to draw babyfurs and honestly that's where I draw the line so we'll see about something else n__n).

Thanks :)
knifesmile
Jun. 25th, 2006 12:35 am (UTC)
I'm of what they used to politely call an 'artistic temperament'. :p Obviously all artists aren't as neurotic as I am about their work and their work-related stuff, but it has massive benefits sometimes. For example, all of them know that even touching anything that resembles a WIP or a finished piece without express permission and in my presence is strictly verboten. Even picking something up while I'm there without asking first gets me snarling because in the past I've had people do exactly the same thing to me -- throw away the entire contents of my Old Sketch Drawer because 'it was all so old'. Nevermind that most of my evolution and project reference material was in there. So I've learned to make the 'put that back' message exceedingly clear if anyone touches anything without asking first and they've learned to go along with my tyranny in that field because the answer to the question, "Is this important," is almost always, "Yes."

So you don't have to be a neurotic asshole like me but I would seriously suggest establishing some sort of boundary/permissions system, because no one who isn't you can accurately evaluate the importance of a box full of stuff. As illustrated by this incident!

As for the rest, tell him what happened. If he's an artist himself he'll understand and accept it without question because it's happened to all of us. And if not, well, he can sit and spin, quite frankly. As my pain doctor said when I presented him with the police report after my OC was stolen in a mugging, "You've done everything you're supposed to do. This shit happens." If he can't roll with that it's his problem.
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:18 am (UTC)
That's mostly what pisses me off about this whole situation, my parents KNOW art is my JOB. I go to conventions all over the country to sell my ART. They're okay with that. I mostly keep my WIP/finished/needs mailed out things in binders of which people know not to touch...I don't understand why my dad thought the badges were any different, especially since they were laminated.

Unfortunetly the commissioner is not an artist. I've tried contacting him several times over the matter but in a sense he's been rather avoident. I explained the situation to him several days ago shortly after posting this and recieving replies, and he's always too tired or working or something to give me a straight answer. I'm only asking for 5 friggen minutes of his time for more or less a yes or no answer so argh :(

Thanks :)
neolucky
Jun. 25th, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
If he's seen the original...would you have a nice scan of the badge? Perhaps make a nice clean print and laminate that =)? It wouldn't be the original art, but it'd be damn close if the scan was clean enough.
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
Yeah, I scanned the badge at 300 DPI so that would be no problem, though I haven't been able to get a straight answer from the commissioner so I'm not sure what to do about all of this yet -___-

Thanks :)
shimmerhawk
Jun. 25th, 2006 04:13 am (UTC)
First off, tell your parents never to throw away any of your things without asking first. O_o If anyone even touches my art without permission I blow a fuse. If it got thrown out I would go berserk, lol.

I would either explain the situation to the customer, redraw the badge and maybe do another quick free picture for good measure, or ask your dad to give you what the badge was worth so you can refund the money. He was the one who threw it away, after all.
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:24 am (UTC)
That's exactly what I'm so pissed about this, my parents know art is my JOB. It's how I pay bills. They're okay with this. They've seen the binders in my room, and my mom even mails things out for me when I ask.

I haven't been able to get a hold of the commissioner, it's like he doesn't have 5 minutes to give me a straight answer as to what he wants to do. :/ I've offered redrawing the badge and maybe a sketch (though he'll want me to do a babyfur and I'll have to suggest he pick something else...) but, argh, like I said, he doesn't have 5 minutes to give me a straight answer so I'm becoming even more frustrated :(

Thanks :)
bonewolf
Jun. 25th, 2006 04:47 am (UTC)
If you need to refund, make your dad do it. :D

Well, he did throw something that didnt belong to him away.. *shakes head*
thaily
Jun. 25th, 2006 05:33 am (UTC)
He has a point, at least tell your dad about it.
If he had to refund the money he'd be less hasty about throwing away stuff next time. Odds are he won't, but at least he'll realize it's a source of income for you and to be more careful with your stuff.
(no subject) - dreamaria - Jun. 27th, 2006 03:30 am (UTC) - Expand
phineus
Jun. 25th, 2006 10:56 am (UTC)
yeah, your dad needs a good stern talkin' to... D:

but I think if you're willing to just redraw/remake badges to replace what you lost, he shouldn't complain. explain it to him, do another one as soon as you can, maybe a wee bonus (like a sketch) for the commissioner's trouble, and send it off with a big apology. he SHOULD be cool with that, if he still pitches a fit, then he's just a jerk and don't feel bad. :P

I do know the feeling, though, I lost two or three badges I had done for people (through community trades, at least they weren't paid for!) because my boyfriend's mother threw them away.
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:35 am (UTC)
Speaking of badges, did you get the two I sent your way a few days ago? :D

I've tried explaining the situation to him several times, but it seems he never has a few minutes to make a decision. I'm not asking for an hour of his time, just 5 minutes, and he's always tired or working or something, which I understand, but damn, just 5 minutes for a yes or no answer is all I ask. I'd even throw in a sketch as long as he doesn't want a babyfur which I assume he'd want D:

Thanks :)
(no subject) - phineus - Jun. 27th, 2006 06:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
banka_flavored
Jun. 25th, 2006 02:33 pm (UTC)
I laminated a shitload some too :P not that it matters, im just whiney to let you know. BUT ANYWAY! I think if your going to re-do the badge he shouldnt have a fit over it. Why is it he needed it so damn fast? in time for another con? or just to NEED them. Your original agreement to the commission didnt STATE he needed them right away did it? if not, then he shouldnt have gripes about when he gets it, unless its a ridiculously large amount of time later. Tell him you'll make another one and see what he says. And tell your parents to watch out for your artwork :(
dreamaria
Jun. 27th, 2006 03:39 am (UTC)
He said he didn't need it for a con so to take my time, then he was all "NVRMND I NEED IT NOW" but still said he didn't need it for a con O_____o

It's like he never has 5 fucking minutes to make a decision though, he's always busy or working or someshit. I've been trying to talk to him for days about this and he's always Busy or Offline or something and argh I'm ready to say fuck it because he's being such an ass about it, but I don't want a bad rep because of this so yeah. :|

u do my manip now k?//
(no subject) - banka_flavored - Jun. 27th, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
mapdark
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
Sorry to tell you , but he paid for it .. you're the irresponsible one .. make up for it .. and DON'T make excuses..
dreamaria
Jul. 4th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah because it's totally my fault that my dad went into my car without permission and threw away things that he had no business touching.

Anyway, it's all been taken care of...
(no subject) - mapdark - Jul. 4th, 2006 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - dreamaria - Jul. 5th, 2006 02:12 am (UTC) - Expand
snowfox19
Jul. 18th, 2006 07:23 am (UTC)
A little late but I'd like to offer my apoligies. This kind of goes to everyone including those who have dealt with me. I'm sorry on being pushy about art and everything else and Dream I will talk to you on msn next even though its off i owe you an apoligy and stuff.

Snow

P.S And i promise to start having patience with art.
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