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How long is Too Long?

This will be purposefully somewhat vague because I don't want to really escalate the situation if it doesn't need to be. There is a large possibility that I may be over-reacting.

Let me start by saying that this is over a fursuit and another fursuit-related item by the same person, the total of both is approximately ~$1100 (all paid in full). The former was commissioned first, the other item later. The partial was started but not completed. The person, meanwhile, has completed other things on their queue that came after mine. I realize and expect some people jump around with their queue, but I've gone months without any updates whatsoever.

Its been about two years since I paid off the partial and a year for the other item. I haven't given a deadline which was probably my first mistake, but honestly I don't go to many events and didn't want to put stress on them. I know other people have had trouble with them before with contact or updates, one of which I know had a deadline. But I can't really speak for them, so.

Advice on what to do? I consider this person a friend and don't want to come off as combative.

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( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 29th, 2013 07:16 pm (UTC)
Start by re-establishing contact wwith this person and coming up with a firm deadline that is within reason for the amount of work which needs to be completed, but is also satisfactory to you.</p>

It may also help to have progress deadlines where the wrtist needs to show you some sort of wip by a certain date and then show that work has progressed by a second date snd so on until the project is completed.

Sep. 30th, 2013 03:02 am (UTC)
I would, but I feel guilty trying to start up a deadline when I'd mentioned previously that I didn't have one in mind. As they also don't have a public queue (that I know of), I'm also not sure if there's people before me that have their fursuit items due as well (which is entirely possible, although I do know I was one of the first to commission them for a partial when they first opened). I wouldn't feel right putting myself before the others, I guess? If that makes sense. But re-establishing contact seems necessary... :(

It's just hard. I want to continue to be friends, but I want (need?) to get my money's worth. A grand isn't any amount to bat an eye towards.
Sep. 30th, 2013 02:37 pm (UTC)
You need to set a deadline. Even if you told them, 2 YEARS ago, that you didn't have a deadline, they obviously lack the drive to get a suit done on their own time. There is nothing wrong with contacting them, seeing what their queue is like, and requesting a reasonable deadline. Sometimes you have to push friendship by the wayside in order to get what you paid for. Sorry, but I wouldn't care too much about remaining friends with someone who obviously had so little concern for me, my money, my time, or my feelings.

Toughen up, put your foot down, and demand that they meet a, reasonable, deadline. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but you do need to explain how you feel, what you want, and when you want it.
Oct. 1st, 2013 03:12 am (UTC)
This is the firm advice I needed. Thank you.
Oct. 2nd, 2013 01:26 am (UTC)
You are very welcome and I wish you the best in getting what you paid for. A real friend would not treat you with such little care and concern. I do art with and for friend all of the time and I would never dream of treating them like this, ignoring them and their paid work for two years, heck, I feel bad if I take two weeks. So now is the time to get serious with them.
Sep. 29th, 2013 07:18 pm (UTC)
The problem I've had with mixing friends and business is that they tend to put one's work to the side because they feel one will understand because one's is friends with them.

It is your right at this point to bring up your disappointment -- make sure you get your point across that other people's work have been completed before yours even though you were in their list before them.
Sep. 30th, 2013 03:08 am (UTC)
I've commissioned friends before and have nothing but positive things to say. They've always been prompt and when they haven't, they update me (or at least mention that they haven't forgotten and that they'll have it done by a rough estimate).

I just don't want to come across as the bad guy because I did mention that I didn't have a deadline.
Sep. 30th, 2013 10:47 am (UTC)
Yeah, usually my buds are good about working with me, and when I do something for them I tend to to go that extra mile because, well, I kinda know them well and what they might like. Not that I don't try to do that for everyone but NGL I chat with friends a lot so more WIPs, excitement, etc.
You tried to be accommodating and it sounds like the result is your commission has been neglected / you're feeling unhappy. So it's time to give them a deadline, since leaving it open ended hasn't worked.
Talk to them and mention that it's really been quite a while now - you can try asking them to set their own deadline (but make it clear it's important to you that they meet it), if they refuse or set it too far out, set one yourself based on what you know of their usual work time and current progress so far.
Oct. 3rd, 2013 07:28 am (UTC)
If this person is a friend, then they should be understanding of the situation. If you can't go to a friend and say,"Hey look, it's been two years, and I get that your queue is pretty full, but I'd really like my suit by [reasonable date]." without them blowing up, they're not really a great friend. I commission my friends a lot too, and I got burned once (now former friend), but he was still reasonable about refunding me.

You're certainly not a bad guy here for imposing a deadline on a fully paid project after two years of waiting. After all, things change in two years. Maybe you're going to a con and you'd like to suit with new friends, y'know? Two years is an awfully long time to wait- I know makers that can turnaround a high quality suit in a month (not saying all makers can or should do that).
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 1st, 2013 03:15 am (UTC)
It was, indeed, a pretty basic suit. Nothing too elaborate with no major markings.

As for the refund, I guess I just really want to see the suit completed. Parts of it are confirmed in completion and I don't want to negotiate how much they'd owe me for the uncompleted work. Also, I have no confidence or background in making fursuits and wouldn't know who would be open completing a project already started by another artist.
Oct. 1st, 2013 01:49 pm (UTC)
Do you have any upcoming cons you want to attend? If so, you could use that as a deadline without coming across as "do it now!" I'd phrase it along the lines of "Hey, it's been a while since I've had an update on this. I was kind of hoping to have it for [con]; do you think you could have it done for me by then?"
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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