Hello, A_B. I decided to join LJ so I could explain my problem since my friend tried to help me and failed. (I really apologize for that)
I'm aware I made several mistakes during the transaction and interaction, but I'm aware of how I went wrong and point it out as I go as far as I can remember. Onto the story.
A while ago I got into fursuiting and joined a group on dA specifically for it. Then I came across the girl (who I will not name) and commented on her partial. We started to become friends and found we had lots in common. I gave her my facebook since she didn't have any other form of messaging and we talked through there. Everything is all rainbows and sunshine.
Later on I start working on my own partial and come to a huge problem: I can't fur things to save my life. So I start talking to this friend about it and she offers to fur it for me, in exchange for a head base I had already made. But, she requests (this is kind of an important part, at least to me) that I make a bunny muzzle so she can make a bunny goat out of it. So we exchange addresses and I get a big box and put both heads and fur fabric inside. Giving her the payment at the same time was my second mistake, right after trusting a 13 year old I met on the internet. I'm clingy and I trust people really quick, I know that.
It gets to her house, and during a stream she shows it to me to prove that she has it and has worked on it. She then shows me a progress picture on facebook. Very quick, I was happy.
But then my best friend told me she was being mean to him in chats and/or comments on fb. And she repeatedly said I should break up with my girlfriend. I was mildly annoyed, but I let it slide since I assumed she was joking with the latter.
About a month or so goes by. I wanted the head back so I could take it to a meeting. So I give her a due date. She had worked so fast on most of it and it looked like she didn't have much left to finish, so why not?
She said she couldn't and apologized, and that she couldn't take pictures either so she just sent me the first picture again and I took that.
Another month goes by and I pester her a little about it. I believe at this point she took another picture, and it looked exactly the same as before. I was a little surprised. She was still being mean about my friends, and I was starting to get mad. But I felt like I couldn't tell her to stop or do anything since she still had my head.
Around this time she said that she was working on her own suit, a dragon. In a journal post she said for a head base she was going to use a head from a trade she did "a long time ago". Then posted pictures of said WIP a few days later. Immediately I noticed it was the same head base I had traded with her, though the nose was modified. This wouldn't bother me so much if she hadn't specifically asked for a bunny muzzle that I had worked hard to make so she could just rip it off and create a new one from scratch.
This time I pestered her about getting my head back, since I assumed she had finished it. She had it for four months in total. I know that's not a long time to wait for a fursuit head, but she had gotten everything except the end of the snout and ears done within a week or so of receiving it.
I got a response with a long list of things that had happened to her recently as a reason why she couldn't send it. Her mom had lung problems and fought with her dad and he kicked them out and now they barely get money and I forget the rest. She did end up sending it, but with a little surprise and my major complaint: When I opened the box, the entire head reeked of smoke and had to sit in our garage for another month to air out. Her mom is a (possibly former) smoker.
She does not warn of this anywhere on the things she sells, nor did she tell me about it. Not on the stuffed animals, the suit heads, the tails, any lot at all. I'm not allergic, but what if somebody was and bought an item from her? That's my major concern.
Today I found an auction by her of a lot of fursuit items. One of these is the head base that I had traded with her, almost completely unrecognizable. Though I don't have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the lack, again, of smoke warning.
So I comment on her auction warning buyers about this. She deleted my comment and put a "smoke-free home" label at the end of the description. In one of my last conversations with her she did say her mom quit, but I know that fursuit head has been sitting in smoke for at least a few months.
I'm concerned but I don't really know if I should actually be angry with her or if I reacted wrong.
Sorry for the length and any mistakes.