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In need of help/advice

This is more of a premtive move on my part just in case something happens with this person later.

Its also me needing advice. I have offered to issue a refund but have not yet gotten a response.

This isnt a beware yet.

Several months ago I was commissioned by someone who shall remain anonymous, for now. I was doing an open stream card commission and he purchased a $10 ink with a $2 tip of a naked Ferret girl. I completed the card as he watched and it took me a week or so to mail it out. I honestly just wanted to wash my hands of him because the whole transaction had been borderline creepy and the guy seemed to treat women as objects  which, me being a girl, tends to rub me the wrong way.

So I sent it out, doing my ABSOLUTE BEST to write down his adress on the envelope. It was in french and absolutely full of accents and special characters. And sent it off with two other international orders.  Well I kept tabs on the other two internationals because I tend to befriend a GOOD amount of people out of country. One of which was a good friend and it took him over a month to get his cards, when they finally arrived I could breath a sigh of releif. So I assumed all had gone as planned and I completely forgot about the creepy guy.

Untill a week ago when he noted me on FA asking if I had sent out his card. Not remembering who he was, because I have done ALOT of cards between when i started and now I asked him to describe it. when he did I informed him I had indeed sent it and that if it hadn't arrived to check his local post office. I know in some international shipments that they hold things at the post for people to pick up, happens with my briton boyfriend all the time. I thought this was a reasonable thing to say as I know it happens fairly often and something may have just fallen through the cracks.

The response I got was... well.. a tad rude. (i cant say i didnt respond any better but alas it was 3am and I was in a less than accomodating mood.)

My first response when he told me he didnt receive it:



His reply:



which incited this reply from me.


I tried to remain professional, I did. But I was a little ticked off at the idea he implyed I was trying to scam him.

I havent yet gotten a reply but I'd really like to know what to do so this doesn't happen in the future.

I also have this sneaking suspicion he's trying to get something for nothing but seeing as I cant prove he didnt get the card I'm up a creek. Its only $10 but this is quite literally MONTHS after the fact I would have thought he'd have brought this up alot sooner.
EDIT: I have spoken to him and implored him to check his local post office. He's currently working in Paris and his mother is still at his old adress so hes going to ask her to check. More updates when I know more.

On another note we resolved the rudeness issue on both our parts, I apologised for my reaction to his reply and he inturn apologised for his bluntness. So I can at least account for the issue with the customer to be resolved, the shipping issue is still pending though.

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Comments

( 83 comments — Leave a comment )
hamburger
Sep. 19th, 2011 02:17 am (UTC)
Approved this, but you have several HTML tags that need fixing, if you could please.
harliquinnraver
Sep. 19th, 2011 02:32 am (UTC)
I've had someone contact me 2 and a half years after sending my half of a trade, saying that they never received it. Also overseas. Could not figure out why on earth I wasn't contacted sooner but at least my customer was polite about it.

I think you handled that fairly well. Their hostility and rudeness was a bit much, IMO. You were nice enough.
leahtaur
Sep. 19th, 2011 02:58 am (UTC)
Nice slur in the filename, there.
disidi
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:17 am (UTC)
Yeah, I kinda went :| at that one.
(no subject) - neolucky - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:18 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - leahtaur - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - neolucky - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - neolucky - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - zydala - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:53 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - zydala - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wolf_goat - Sep. 19th, 2011 01:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - celarania - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
neolucky
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:24 am (UTC)
I don't see what he said as rude. He politely told you he'd stop commissioning you (The paying for air thing was odd, but not horrible) and then said to have a nice day. He didn't ask for a refund, heck he sounded like he was going to just give up on it.

You on the other hand mention that you were "going to offer a replacement" then turn around and say "But your attitude was bad"?

That? I'm afraid, I see worse then his reply. He didn't get his item, and I'm sure he's sad. Did you scan it at least? If not, why not? Also, if you want to remain Anonymous about this client, learn how to be so - by not mentioning their gender, nationality, or smearing them via talking about how creepy they are without any sort of proof to back it up. No one needed to hear about that in the first place, so why bring it up if you're trying to keep his name under wraps?

Sorry, but frankly? Your attitude is the one that bugs me.
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:30 am (UTC)
It was mean to me, sorry but thats how I read it. I felt it was an implication that he was assuming I had scammed him when I was fully willing to replace it and even say so often and make several consessions to people who treat me respectuflly. This was not being respectful. Yes my attitude was poor in my reply but only then. getting messaged at 3 am and being told months after the fact when i had informed him i'd sent it WHEN i sent it Irritated the heck out of me.

I admit i was rude and irritiated in the reply. I make no excuses other than it was late and I was... "grr"
(no subject) - leahtaur - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - neolucky - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wolf_goat - Sep. 19th, 2011 01:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - spiffystuff - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:19 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - sbneko - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - spiffystuff - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:01 am (UTC) - Expand
chrdoesscience
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:26 am (UTC)
You could make it policy to use a tracking number for international (or all) orders. Alternatively, you could offer your commissioners to buy tracking numbers; and explicitly say that, if they refuse to pay for one and their order is lost, you will not refund or replace it. That will absolve you of any responsibility of lost post. (It's not really your responsibility once it leaves your hands, anyway, but post can be a lose-lose situation.)

I tend to agree that this guy was trying to get something for free, He was really jumping the gun there to accuse you of not mailing it, especially because he watched you draw it and knew for certain it was completed.
starcharmer
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
When I shipped a package to Canada recently [last Saturday] I tried to put a tracking number on it and was told I couldn't do international tracking.
(no subject) - ichi_black - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:27 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - wolf_goat - Sep. 19th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 07:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 07:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 12:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - loregryph - Sep. 19th, 2011 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - loregryph - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chrdoesscience - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
mrst4nkr
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:27 am (UTC)
Can you not track shipping on international mail? :S (This is a genuine question, not just me being a jerk. )

I think you've done all you can, really.
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:31 am (UTC)
im going to be looking into it as i do have several regualar international sellers
(no subject) - syrusb - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:35 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:41 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - neolucky - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - meguroco - Sep. 20th, 2011 09:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 21st, 2011 05:43 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - meguroco - Sep. 21st, 2011 04:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 21st, 2011 06:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 21st, 2011 05:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - meguroco - Sep. 20th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 21st, 2011 05:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - purpurealuna - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:47 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fenris_lorsrai - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:41 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:44 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fenris_lorsrai - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mrst4nkr - Sep. 19th, 2011 05:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - starcharmer - Sep. 19th, 2011 07:18 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - antoj - Sep. 19th, 2011 06:30 am (UTC) - Expand
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(no subject) - sharpecostumes - Sep. 20th, 2011 11:23 am (UTC) - Expand
syrusb
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
He absolutely should check his post office.

In 2002ish I sold some anime cels on ebay, one of which a buyer in France paid several hundred for. At the time I was offloading a great many things, so I set up a schedule to only ship two days each week to lessen trips to the post office. (This was in my auction's TOS and I reminded buyers in email.)

Because the buyer was overseas I had to pack up the cel and get a quote from the Post Office then get the proper shipping from the buyer, so actually getting the cel in the mail took a few days longer than expected (all while the buyer was chomping at the bit). The whole time I begged the buyer to put insurance on the package in case something happened. I stated it'd be packed as well as possible but if it got lost there was nothing I could do and he would be out of a good deal of money. The buyer refused every time.

So a month after the cel was shipped it still hadn't arrived and of course THEN the buyer was all 'can you put insurance on it.' And I said no, but they insisted I call and verify that from the post office. And I did, and the answer was as you would expect. But the clerk also said often with international shipments they hold the package in a depot and send out letters to the recipients stating there is a package to be claimed after a duty/tax is paid. And sometimes it takes a while for them to work thru the pile to get those letters out, but if the recipient is expecting the package and calls the depot it can be claimed in a speedier manner.

So you can guess where the package was (and had been for about two weeks).

Bottom line, I wouldn't refund the guy until after he has checked with his local post office.
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:39 am (UTC)
I think thats what gets me the most, is that i politely asked him to do so and he outright refused putting the blame on me. (or so It seemed) I mean okay I wasn't all that nice when i replied but still he didn't even want to bother with it.
(no subject) - syrusb - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 03:48 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - fenris_lorsrai - Sep. 19th, 2011 04:50 am (UTC) - Expand
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 04:54 am (UTC)
THANK YOU *BOWS before the mighty Fenris*
sbneko
Sep. 19th, 2011 05:37 am (UTC)
While I completely understand why you would take they're comment the wrong way, it would have been best to stay calm rather then say "I was gonna do this, but nvm".

Also, did you tell them you had sent the picture? That's something you should definatly notify people about. Here, post generally takes two weeks no matter what I seem to buy, so once it's been a few days to a week after that, I'll let the artist know to see if anything might be up.
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 03:21 pm (UTC)
Yes I Did but it was so long ago he probably just forgot since its been awhile now. and yeah I was rude I take full responsibility for that. THANKFULLY however we have resolved the miscommunication issue. Apologies were handed out all around and I even apologised for mentally calling him a Frog among other things (catholic guilt doncha love it) So at least the issue with HIM is resolved, we're working on the shipping problem still.
oceandezignz
Sep. 19th, 2011 06:33 am (UTC)
Seeing folks like [Unknown LJ tag] say Paris is a black hole shipping-wise... this makes sense, because I've noticed that quite a few sellers on ebay (mostly the HK merchants) warn that if you're shipping to France, you have a wait that is MUCH longer than the rest of Europe (save Italy who has similar policies I'm guessing).

So yeah, if you choose to speak with this client again, tell them that you've heard from another shipper that due to their countries apparently mail practices that his item is most likely there, he just needs to take the initiative to get it. Not only would it help him get his stuff, but it'll help you see if that was truly the case so that you can warn future French customers ahead of time.
coyote_feathers
Sep. 19th, 2011 01:48 pm (UTC)
I'm usually the LAST person out there to complain about something being non-PC, but could you refrain from saying things like "creepy frenchman"? Yeah, he's creepy. I get it. But the fact that he's French doesn't need to come into it.

Also, GJ on the filenames. Around my neck of the woods "frog" is a really insulting term and being called "frog" all your life is pretty crappy and upsetting.

Aside from that, yeah, he needs to get off his butt and check the post office. Any excuse he gives not to is just an excuse. His response would probably have set my teeth on edge as well were I in your position. I don't know if I would jump up to refunding him just yet, though.
foxena
Sep. 19th, 2011 02:51 pm (UTC)
I understand that and I have apologised. I will edit that part out since I do beleive now it was uncalled for. But yeah the fact he wouldnt check was more like "dude..... seriously"

anyway I deeply apologise for that I didn't realise how insulting it was and fixed the links so the filenames arent shown anymore. I feel bad. I was led to beleive it was a playful jibe not something on the same level as something heavier.
(no subject) - foxena - Sep. 19th, 2011 02:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
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