My first piece of advice has more to do with legibility than content. I would recommend changing the font to normal (FA's bold font is more difficult to read). I would remove the asterisks from the ends of each line (that's adding a level of busy-ness that is distracting). Capitalizing the beginning of each line/sentence is a big help for ease of reading, as would putting punctuation at the end of each sentence. I'd also recommend aligning everything to the left. If you do that, the asterisks on the left could be kept to act as bullets for each item in a section.

On the plus side, your headers and spacing define each section nicely (you could leave the headers bold so they stand out), and you have things fairly concisely written. :)

I will re-read at another time when my eyes are not so tired (been staring at a computer half the day, and all of the formatting issues I stated above are messing with my eyes...sorry).

Reads pretty clear to me, and most everything is to the point, and fair for both parties.

I think the only thing that seems a bit iffy is the 'Don't pester about the commission'. Don't pester is a pretty vague term, is asking once a month pestering? Twice a day? I think rewording it along the lines of 'Excessive requests for updates is not welcome and will result in a partial refund', the commissioner should be allowed to ask for updates, but not to the point that it becomes a distraction from the work. The threat of a refund over possibly asking about a commission once, may scare off some folks.

I agree with it being hard to read. I would remove the bold and put numbers or something. I dare even say remove the center, but that may not be necessary if you get the formatting right.

The only thing is I am not sure about the reselling of traditional work. I'm sure someone with more knowledge on reselling of traditional work can come and correct me, but I thought once the person owns the original, they can do whatever they want with it. The image itself is copyright to you, but they can burn it or resell it at a higher price without having to consult you.

I'm seconding a lot of what Kerstin said up there, particularly the suggestions to align everything to the left side, adding some capitalization/punctuation, and the suggestion for use of the bold font.

May I also suggest something else? I might clarify how you calculate the portion of payment being refunded to anyone who has their artwork cancelled. Would it be different amounts for something like the base sketch being completed, as opposed to having inks and some color completed? Would you keep a certain percentage of the total payment as a kind of down payment, no matter how much work has been done on an image?

Just some suggestions for you to consider, and of course it's all up to what you feel is important to include! :)

Personally, I find it best to use another site because it just makes it so much easier for commissioners to read. In my opinion, I find FA just, cluttered, spread out and awkward when it comes to a lot of important information.

I'd suggest google docs or even formsite, since you can make it so it only has information written on it.

http://www.formsite.com/

for googledocs, you just need to google it or go on google. I don't think I can link it since its attached to my email when I click it.

Some of my thoughts on this were already said above (what is pestering and you can't stop people from reselling an original). Make it clear that you are selling the original, not the rights.

What struck me is:
How do you determine partial refund? Do they get a full refund (minus like $5 downpayment) if you haven't started? I'd say something about a downpayment (if you are) and that you'll be paid for work done (as opposed to just a partial refund). Make it fair for you and the client.

Deadlines - You may want to separate a rush order and a normal deadline. There's a difference between saying "I want it in 2 weeks" Vs "I want it by Halloween." I'd be put off by not being able to ask for any deadline. Also, if they're paying for a rush job, yes you're holding yourself to a deadline. If you screw up, then you'd refund, but what the TOS says right now is that you're not reliable for any deadline, even one you "agree" to.

Editing - Does this include getting lineart for someone else to color? Maybe just if previously agreed to?

Client Rights - This is all "You may/can not" except for the right to repost. This would be a good part to talk about when the client is entitled to a refund, what they can ask for in edits, etc. While you're providing a product, the client should get some rights too. Right now, they couldn't get a full refund even if it took 4 years to complete. I'm not saying that it would take you that long, but they wouldn't have any action if it did.

What I'd seriously look into would be what you can give the client. In particular whether you're comfortable setting reasonable deadlines and refunding if you drop the ball.

It's looking better (and easier to read!)

There are only a few things that strike me now:
"Do not discuss the commission via phone, text, or in-person speech unless completely necessary" - with whom? Everyone? The artist? Why have them sworn to secrecy? If they want to say "Hey buddy! Just commissioned poizenkat" why can't they?

Also - missing a rush job. Will the partial refund include all of what the rush fee was? (e.g. Normal comission = $30, rush fee = $20, you miss it, customer is given $20 + partial refund or finished art or some partial refund than has little relation to the rush fee?)

Another thing - are the TOS negotiable in any way? E.G. - Client wants their commission private - either not in galleries, or not livestreamed (like you might want to keep a gift secret) will you possibly modify the TOS for that? (A charge or something might be fine, especially if it's a never thing.) Also, one thing to consider is the gift policy - how do you handle someone wanting you to draw someone else's character?

Sorry that I'm writing such a book. >.>

Oh! Then maybe clarify "text message/IM" rather than "text." I may just be an idiot, because I was like "I can't email about it?" ?.? lol!

Sorry you had bad luck before!

get rid of the spacing between each statement, it's throwing me off.

I would recommend as far as formatting goes (if you're going to keep it on FA, I know it was suggested that you take it to Googledocs or something) that you have it set up something like:

[b]Heading 1[/b]
*Term 1
*Term 2
*Term 3
*Etc.

[b]Heading 2[/b]
*Term 1
*Term 2
*Term 3

Otherwise I think it looks pretty good!

Agreed with needing to take the spacing out. I'd personally do it like this,


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