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Dealing with a friend? :/

So, this isn't a beware yet but I suppose it may be if it goes on any longer, unfortunately.

I mostly would just appreciate advice right now because it's an awkward situation.

I commissioned a very close friend of mine for some badges a few months ago. I've commissioned them before and I've always gotten the pieces and been happy, etc. I was expecting a similar situation this time but it's been over two months now and I haven't heard a thing. I've confronted them a number of times and have either been avoided COMPLETELY or been told that they were done, while never seeing a scan of them or anything -- even after asking for a scan directly multiple times. They have just been either not replying to me for a long enough amount of time that the next time we talk they can bring up another subject, or they bring up another subject immediately. Usually something to do with their life troubles (financial, health, etc.) so I feel really guilty trying to press them on it afterwards, which I can't help but feel is deliberate. :/ And I also can't help but feel like I am being ripped off.

Anyway. I don't know how to handle it because they are a friend and all and they have been for quite a long time. I really wouldn't even be mad if they hadn't drawn them up yet or something. It mostly hurts that I feel like I am being deliberately lied to by a friend. But they also happen to be very defensive/aggressive so I'm afraid of even confronting them about it politely because I know from experience that they will lash out. Agh.

Help? :/

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 29th, 2011 02:38 pm (UTC)
"Hey, I know you've been having problems, but I paid you money for a service and I would like to know what's come of that. Please give me either my badges or a refund, thanks!"

If that doesn't go well, make a proper beware. They're your friend, but they're also a businessperson as long as they're taking money for art, and that's what we're here for, after all. People can be perfectly good people/friends, but terrible at taking commissions.
(no subject) - fenris_lorsrai - May. 29th, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 29th, 2011 05:38 pm (UTC)
Forgive me if this comes off as rude, but I am having doubts of the weight of your friendship if it really is this hard to get the artwork from them. :c If they are giving you this much of a run-around, it sounds like they may be lying, which is unhealthy in any relationship... Do be careful, not only about your art, but about yourself.
May. 30th, 2011 06:01 pm (UTC)
There's already some good advice here, and I'm just throwing in my two cents.

Having to deal with a confrontational situation with anyone can be unpleasant, and it can be even more so if it's with a person you've felt you can trust. Everyone has crap that kicks them in the face without warning, and of course sometimes we all need a little extra leeway to get things sorted out. Now, that being said, whether someone is a close friend or an artist on the other side of a computer screen, it does seem unprofessional to avoid a client who's paid you for your services and is waiting on a straight up answer of the status of their art. Long story short: it isn't fair to make you wait without any idea of the progress on your art, regardless of if you're a friend or a complete stranger.

Having read your side of the story, it does seem like this friend is trying to guilt you out of asking about anything by bringing up subjects such as their health or money problems. These problems could be legit (I don't know them personally, so I'll have to rely on your word for it) but I do think you're in the right in continuing to ask what's going on with the art you paid for. Just be polite, but firm. If they are having problems serious enough that they can't complete the work you commissioned them for, then to me, it's only fair that they refund you what you've paid.

If it were me, I would probably approach them with something like, "Hey, I know you're having a rough time right now, and I certainly don't want to add to the problems you've been dealing with. I would just like a straight answer about what's going on with the art I paid you for. It's okay if it's not something you feel you have the time to do right now, and if that's the case, I'd really just like to get the money back that I gave you for the commission. You've been a good friend and I'd really like to just get this resolved so that you don't feel like I'm coming down on you and I don't feel like a jerk for having to ask you all the time because I don't know what's going on."

So, yeah, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with something like this. I hope you get a chance to just sit down and talk with them in civil terms and get a result.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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