I am terribly sorry for everything. When I read your e-mail, I immediately went to find your coaster - I hadn't even thought of it since I've been through everything that led me to move back in with parents (I'd rather not discuss and I'm sure you'd rather not be bored with the details.) However, I am so sorry to say that it must've been lost in the move since despite searching all morning I just can't find it. I can't say I'm sorry enough. I'm going to refund you $20 for putting up with all of this. I don't blame you at all in least for warning others against me - I'm pretty sure I deserve it.
Again I'm so sorry for everything and absolutely understand if you want nothing to do with me.
So if you are still owed needlepoint from her, sounds like she's answering people's emails now and issuing refunds. So consider this resolved. Shame I never got the item though, it looked good from the photo she sent me forever and a day ago.