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A little help?

How the HELL do you write a letter to someone who's been keeping you waiting for three-four months shy of two years for a two-part commission, that... you don't give a fig about anymore - you don't want your money back - you just want to you know, float on? No bad blood, no nothing, I ain't gonna report them to this comm or anywhere else either. How the HELL do you write something like that and not (I repeat: not) have it sound like you're attempting to guilt the artist into actually doing it? At the end of my rope here, everything I've thought of/written sounds like a greasy excuse for 'pity art'. EDIT: I just want to forget it, I want her to forget it too (completely, no hint of my being an afterthought) and it seems even more regretful to come here for advice since it seems people are more ready for claws/teeth/emo-woe. This is a way to kill any sort of miscommunication (the biggest issue here in this community ever! OH MY GOD I want to fix that, how dare I attempt it, right?), so she doesn't assume I'm still out there on a limb. ANYWAY I've already attempted to explain my weird ways already. Take it or leave it. I don't want it. The glittery goods she offers don't appeal to me period now. I don't get anyone else here who doesn't seem to get that I'm just done, and there are just some points in life where you're just done fighting or attempting to start one, and a frosty air of 'forget it, not worth it to get my goods or my money back' can do more damage than a clusterfuck of emoflaming in my opinion.
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Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
fatkraken
Jul. 25th, 2008 01:33 am (UTC)
if you honestly don't want it, just say that. if you'd still vaguely like SOMETHING, just shoot off a quick "hey, I paid quite a while ago, could you let me know the situation please?".
rupertistheone
Jul. 25th, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
My question first would be how much you spent on it...are you sure you don't want to ask for a refund? Seems like such a waste, I'm sorry that happened to you.
feralityillust
Jul. 25th, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
Tell them that you're no longer interested, and to consider the payment you gave them as a "gift"? That's all I got, this is tough stuff. =/
airukitsu
Jul. 25th, 2008 01:34 am (UTC)
If you paid for it, you got every right to ask them about it, be as polite as you can be. Sometimes even saying "I dont mean to sound like I am trying to get pity art" or something will help.
bladespark
Jul. 25th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
If you don't want the art, and you don't want your money, then really what point is there in writing the letter at all? Since you're delivering no negative consequences to the artist for their failure, they're not going to learn anything, and you already know at this point that you're not getting anything, so why not just call it done and walk away?

If you are going to write something, it sounds like it's for your benefit and not for anybody else's, so write whatever you darn well feel like. "Well, I know I'm never going to see my art. Thought I'd let you know that I know that, so you can stop pretending I will, I'm blocking your e-mail address now, goodbye." sounds good to me. :) But I'm not a nice person.
snobahr
Jul. 25th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
Hi [name].

Remember that two-part commission I gave you money for in [month year]? Don't sweat it. Keep the money, report it on your taxes, donate it to charity, buy dinner for a friend, whatever. I don't want the commission any longer. It's in the past, and there's no place in my life, today, for it. Enjoy.

oceandezignz

enveri
Jul. 25th, 2008 03:04 am (UTC)
I have to agree with the others that have asked why bother if you aren't asking for a refund, but if you're going to send a letter, I think Snobahr's sample here is the best one.

Best of luck
oceandezignz
Jul. 25th, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)
I have to thank you again for seeing it how I see it and giving help. I appreciate it.
(Deleted comment)
growly
Jul. 25th, 2008 03:12 am (UTC)
I would think it's so the artist can stop feeling guilty about it.
I know that if I have projects that still need finishing, it just adds stress.
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
oceandezignz
Jul. 25th, 2008 06:45 am (UTC)
Oh because I've poked her. And poked her. And pestered her in the past. No answer then... until I threatened to expose her here already. She FLIPPED and promised I'd get it and still this(*woopee fingertwirl!*).

And honestly, enough of our mutual friends are on here I don't want them to start dipping in the kool-aid and make hell (and I know they can).

Its weird, but this makes sense in my head, if you know what I mean. You just get so hyped about something - it doesn't pan out - you hold out hope - it falls and now you're just... done. Y'know?

I understand I deserve this and that, but the allure of its gone - I heard she was flipping about overdues (inbetween WoW woes *woopee fingertwirl!!*), and so I figure this is the time to say 'no thanks', but I know that my 'tone of voice' has a way of making people go wig out/feel insulted/guilty.

Which is why I figured a third-party's words in place of my tone would just *shrug* give a better result.

But I suppose just ignoring like everyone else says to... must be a lot better, since it apparently solves all issues. I'll have to try it.
zackfig
Jul. 26th, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)
How bout you transfer the commission to someone else? Just tell the artist that you would rather have someone else to choose the subject of the picture?
nambroth
Jul. 25th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC)
Even if it does cause a guilt trip, what on earth is wrong with that? Taking someone's money and not delivering anything IS a legit reason to feel guilty.

At least with the letter, the artist will know nothing further is expected of her, and she can at least move on, since the client is moving on at this point.
oceandezignz
Jul. 25th, 2008 06:09 am (UTC)
Thank you. Someone GOT it.
jtbeckett
Jul. 25th, 2008 03:09 am (UTC)
I once had a videotape I took of someone's wedding and misplaced it... I found it a couple years later, and when I went out for a visit, I brought it with me... I gave it to the guy, apologized for not getting it there sooner, and he said, "We got divorced over a year ago..."

I guess if the circumstances around the character have changed, and you have less need of the art for that reason, then explaining the reason would probably imply what you want.
growing_rose
Jul. 25th, 2008 02:00 pm (UTC)
Ouch ... that's harsh.
spiffystuff
Jul. 25th, 2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Like others have observed, the tone I'm getting from your post is that you care rather a lot about communicating you don't care about it? I wonder if you don't have some ulterior motive (maybe subconscious, even).

If you don't care, why bother? I guess it might be nice for the artist to have this loose end tied up (although who knows, maybe they've forgotten about it anyway). If you feel the need to tell them you don't care, just keep your note brief and to the point.
grygon
Jul. 25th, 2008 07:41 am (UTC)
So... let me get this straight... you're okay with the fact that they've ripped you off, stolen your money, failed you completely? You're also okay with letting them know that is perfectly acceptable and therefore letting them know they can do this to other people as well.

I don't get you.
armaina
Jul. 26th, 2008 11:03 am (UTC)
You know even if you're trying to make them no longer feel guilty about the art, any decent person would still feel guilty about keeping your money even if you said it was okay to keep it and would make an honest effort to pay you back. I know I sure as heck wouldn't allow someone to just call off a commission if they felt like it was burdening me, I'd most definately pay them back. That's what any honest person would do.

So the way this sounds is the artist is just giving you a hard time so that you feel guilty about pressuring them. This behavior should not be rewarded. Especially if they're allowing a video game to get in the way of contacted art work, and even more so if you're not the only one that's so horrendously overdue. There is a huge difference between a few months and a few years late.

Edited at 2008-07-26 11:07 am (UTC)
the_lest
Jul. 26th, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)
Link them to this post.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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