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Long term problem with faolanredwolf

This post is about a situation between faolanredwolf and myself that has gone on for several years. This is the first time I am posting publicly about it with so much information anywhere outside my own journal. I didn't want it to come to this, but I am left with little choice. I think others need to be aware of the situation so no one else is taken advantage of.

Up until this point I have maintained tolerance and tried to patiently wait for something positive to come from all of this. I have offered far more chances than I should have for Faolan to do the right thing, and she has not. My tolerance for years of excuses and lack of response is gone.

This all started about five years ago, give or take.

Faolan and her mate were going to act as agents for me at a con they were attending. I sent inventory of jewelry and other items I had created their way. Time for the con came and went and I just wanted my things returned. Some problems came up that delayed them getting the items mailed back.

We were actually good friends back then, so I didn't sweat it much. I just asked she send the inventory back when she had the chance. I even offered to pay shipping but she felt bad and assured me her and
her mate would handle it. Then things got quiet. I let it go, perhaps longer than I should, and when I finally decided to ask again she gave various excuses each and every time. I brushed it off because
I'm a pretty easy going person.

At a few points they were having some hard times in life and I didn't want to press anything because hey, we all have years from hell. So I played the part of a good friend and didn't question her honesty or
integrity because I thought we were friends, and friends don't do that to each other.

Eventually though I told her it had been too long. There was no way I could account for where that jewelry may have been in the year or more that had followed (ie the sanitary status/cleanliness ), if she even still had it. So I told her she could pay me for it instead which basically meant she could do whatever with it afterwards.

Overall it was $375 she owed, for a combination of the merchandise and some web design and graphics I did for her ages ago. As a compromise, I offered to let her do a payment plan, where she'd give me whatever she could over time rather than the whole lump sum all at once, as I didn't want to cause more of a financial burden than she already had.

At one point when I responded to a random journey entry totally unrelated to anything about her owing me money. It was actually about herbal medicine and had no mention of money till she brought it up. She responded to me saying she knew she owed me the $375 for everything and that she had sent a check. She went on to say it was not cashed or anything. I told her at that point it may be best to stop payment because I never got anything in the mail. She swore she sent it. I told her to stop payment and just send a new check. I found out later there was a supposed 'miscommunication' between her and her mate. The money she had supposedly put aside to send me, had been spent by him for video games and other electronics equipment such as a new car stereo. I told her at that point she should find a way to get me what she owed me. Even if she had to borrow it from her parents and owe them money instead of owing me money. After that point she started ignoring all methods of contact I tried.

Long story short, far too many excuses later and then her turning a cold shoulder on me and ignoring me completely, I never heard back and never got any of my stock back from her or got any compensation for my
work or the loss.

I even went so far as to send an invoice in the mail requesting payment for the merchandise as well as some form of compensation for the hassle it put me through because I had to buy new supplies and redo an entire merchandise line, but still never heard anything after that.

I have saved screen shots from the journal entry where she promised she had sent a check for $375, both from original file several years ago and going back to the same entry I made a copy of it showing the current journal style and date comparison. I also saved an AIM conversation we had where she admitted what really happened to the money she owed me.

I have had enough to deal with trying to put my life back together after Hurricane Katrina. During that time this problem went on the back burner. Recently as I was able to get more involved in the online world again, I heard mention that other people were having problems with Faolan owing them money as well, but that those issues had been resolved.

At this point I figured maybe things were finally on the right track for her. I was aware she'd gone through a lot of life changing events but overall it seemed like she was back off on the right foot. So I decided to try and contact her via email. I wrote her as cordial a letter as I could expressing my feelings and that I was willing to give her one last chance to show good faith, even if she only sent me $20 at a time. As long as she sent me something. I requested she respond as soon as she read the email, just so I knew she had seen it, and warned her this was the last time I was going to be cordial about the matter.

She responded to me one time, wanting to confirm my PayPal information and said that she and her mate were going to talk things over and figure out how to get it taken care of, but that she wanted the PayPal info so she could start making payments when payday came. I accepted this and gave her all the information she needed. I requested she keep in contact and give me updates on what was happening.

I have heard nothing since. I tried emailing her once more. The last email just mentioned that I was concerned I hadn't heard from her because it had almost been a full month at that point. I asked her to give me an update because by that time either her or her mate had to have had a payday. I again provided my PayPal information, just in case. I asked her to respond letting me know she received the email. Since it was sent I noticed she has updated her LJ and Myspace (though they must be private entries) within the past three days or so. Considering that email seems to be her primary for everything I have no doubt in my mind that she has seen the email, she's just reverting back to her old track record of offering excuses or empty promises and then avoiding the problem.

Several friends who have known about this since it first started, and a handful of others who were only made aware of it more recently suggested enough was enough and it was time I made a post here about this situation. Has anyone else ever had such an agitating situation with a large sum of money involving a person you thought of as a good friend?

Thanks for taking the time to read.
Artist's beware has moved!
Do NOT repost your old bewares. They are being archived.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 19th, 2007 03:45 am (UTC)
Wow, that's awful. I read it all. What a damn waste of money and time, especially having to re-buy materials to re-create everything from scratch with your own money. :/

Just wanted to say that. Sorry to hear.
Apr. 19th, 2007 04:17 am (UTC)
What a terrible waste... When you send your art to someone as an agent, you have a certain level of trust in that person. and when they violate that sense of trust, more than once even, it's just a damned shame and a reflection of their true nature. I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with this. <=(
Apr. 19th, 2007 04:27 am (UTC)
There was no way I could account for where that jewelry may have been in the year or more that had followed (ie the sanitary status/cleanliness ), if she even still had it.

Does she still have it? Jewelry can be cleaned with bleach or hell taken apart and new stuff made. I think it is more likely that you'd get your products back than the $375
Apr. 19th, 2007 02:00 pm (UTC)
The trouble is, from what the OP says, it would have been pretty easy to just send the jewelry back. They may not have the jewelry any more, may have lost it, or sold it and used the money, claimed it as their own, etc.

And still... even if jewelry CAN be cleaned... if someone's been wearing it all this time (five years) even though it could be cleaned it still may have wear on it (my wedding ring, for example, may be "clean" but still has minor scratches and scuffs from being worn every day) and that's not acceptable - at this point it would be "second hand" jewelry and not as valuable as when it was first created.
Apr. 19th, 2007 04:28 am (UTC)
That's absolutely horrid and I am sorry to hear she betrayed your trust in her like that :/ I hope you somehow get your money back, though it does sound like a longshot at this point.
Apr. 19th, 2007 04:36 am (UTC)
Yeah that is way to long to wait and way too much money to loose. Its been too long to really take her to court over it. While you probably won't get your money back at this point, I think it is safe to say that this sort of thing will keep me and probably many others wary of this person. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

PS You were affected by Katrina too? Where do you live
Apr. 19th, 2007 08:27 am (UTC)
Meh, that really is a horrible thing to go through. Even aside all the other tragedies you've acountered. The last thing you need is a good friend doing this to you :( I'm sorry this happened
Apr. 19th, 2007 09:29 am (UTC)
I can empathise to a degree on this one. When I had to close my shop a few years ago I sold almost everything to try and cover debts and one supposed friend stiffed me for £100, even having the gall to ignore me when I met up with him to ask for the items I had sold him back. Foolish of me to trust anyone enough that they would pay me after collecting the items... he just took the stuff and ran ¬.¬

The only thing I've learned that one can do about these situations is not to make the same mistake twice and be prepared for failure. Mixing friends and business *rarely* ever works since most friends expect special dispensation and cannot get into their head this is your livelihood.

Anyway, that's enough ranting from me.
Apr. 20th, 2007 01:10 am (UTC)
This is where I'm glad that my sister and I do just fine. I've commissioned her several times, even gladly jumping on a commission for her to have money for a Christmas present for her bf-at-the-time even though I had no idea what I wanted. XD
Apr. 19th, 2007 11:01 am (UTC)
Personally, I'd take her to court. While usually I hate the word "sue" you would probably win here...you have evidence, and you've been more than resonable with her....I say show you you mean buisness
Apr. 19th, 2007 11:27 am (UTC)
exactly. as long as you've got all your proof printed out like you say you've got, this sounds like something i would totally see on Judge Judy or The People's Court. small claims court could probably get that money back for you if you're serious.
Apr. 19th, 2007 03:34 pm (UTC)
I also agree. As much as it would suck to take even a former friend to court over something, it may be the only way to resolve this. Ignoring a court date doesn't work the way ignoring a former 'friend' does.
Apr. 19th, 2007 04:34 pm (UTC)
I agree with everyone else here.
Sue her and give us a name what we can avoid, that doesn't sound very reliable person.

..though if you sue her, better not go telling her name everywhere or she can sue you for "blackmailing" or something. But when you sort it out, please give us a warning :/
Apr. 23rd, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
Lifes lesson learned
Sorry you had this happen to you but I think it happens to all of us once or twice in life. I have had the same thing too. I found that if I couldn't get reasonable compensation or return of my items and I can see that it is futile to keep asking then what I do is make the name of the deadbeat known to people who are important to deadbeat. Then when others start turning away from the deadbeat and they realize, hopefully, that they are being turned off due to this incident and the doubt everyone now has that the deadbeat has any morals or caring, they may change, they may not, they may have to move on until they learn how it feels when it happens to them, because they attract what they dish out usually. It is not worrying yourself into an ulcer over it but chalk it up to lifes little lessons. My husband got it worse than I did when he was a young and trusting fellow, he ended up havin to buy a whole car for a friend who ran off with it and never contacted him again. My husband still has a few words of disdain about that particular deadbeat.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


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