Given what you've said I don't think you're impatient.
Given the outright lie on your wip you have good cause to worry IMO.

That's up to you. I'd ask for a refund and if a full one isn't forthcoming quickly file a dispute with PayPal over it. But I've had enough artists flake on me that I no longer give the benefit of the doubt.

+1 to everything gatekat said.

In the future, before commissioning someone, ask what their turnaround time is and how long the queue is (as a timeframe, not how many people are in front of you).

If it's 3 or more months or they can't give you a straight answer, don't commission them.

I have told the artist that if I do not get a WIP by the 3 month mark I want a refund of my money. I also once again repeated that I believe their queue is outdated.

Okay the artist just told me she won't refund me.

"I delete slots as I near the end for them is why you don't see the people on there before I post their comm.

I don't do refunds as part of my tos as I think I've told you before it's even posted on my profile, you've done nothing but try and rush me since the beginning for this ych and I really don't appreciate it, you've seen my list and you know I have quite the workload on top of juggling rent and such for my living situation (I take care of several people in my home) as I don't have an outside job.

I will get to yours as I've said and once I do I will show you a work in progress.

If you continue to rush me your comm will be rushed as well. I would appreciate some patience ...and for you not to unnecessarily threaten me. I've gotten work for you done before there is no need for this.

Thank you."

They are now saying because they have apparently started working on it, thry cant give me a refund and are trying to make me settle.

I have tested this "WIP in progress claim" and have suddenly been asked a sleu of questions that my ref can easily answer

I’ve been there. Regardless, going by your story, you’re not at all impatient, The artist is clearly avoiding work on commissions they have no muse for, preferring whatever’s newer and has no guilt attached to.

Always ask for a turn around & queue position upfront, screencap for evidence later should it go sour.

I have been given a 1 week turnaround for the piece. I will hold them to it.

Yikes. Given the responses fron the artist, I would be requesting a refund and out of there. Especially after the artist clained that /you/ were going to make them rush it as if any of that is your fault. If an artist doesnt like how a commissioner is acting towards them, they either need to just do the work so they can sever the relationship or just refund the money.

They finished the work and posted it. Problem: they didn't even bother to inform me of this fact let aline send me the finished image via notes until I wrnt and asked. Really this will be the last time i get art from this person. I wish i could state who it was but i doubt I can. I only hope no one else has a similar issue with them.